Friday, December 23, 2011


Last night to my 13 year old: "One day you will fall in love and *bam* it will hit you hard, and you will want to be with that person all the time. Just like it's hit Patrick now, like it hit Madeleine last year, and it happened to me, a couple of times. And you'll think you know what love is.

Then one day you'll have a baby, and you'll get hit an indescribable number of times harder, with love. It's why new parents can just sit around and watch their baby. For long periods of time. Even if it's sleeping.

The career, and all your plans don't matter much any more. It's all about the baby and nursing and watching it grow.

You'll start learning from your kids, 'cause you're smart, and they will teach you so much. And they will break your heart, many times.

Then, with your second one, you'll wonder how you could possibly love another child as much as you love your first. (I was very protective of Patrick, and couldn't imagine loving another as much as I loved him.)

And then, you meet the second child, and somehow, there IS enough love. It's not like a small fishbowl and now there are two fish, it's like there's a bigger bowl. There's plenty!

By the time you have your third child, you trust that there is going to be enough love to go around, and you find that also there is the brother and sister now to love this third child. Patrick only had me and his dad."

After a moment, she adds, "And cousins - you get all those cousins who love you."

"Yes, that's true."

"Our Sidney is going to get SO much love, 'cause she's the youngest cousin."

Smile. "I hadn't thought of that."

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