Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Angel Friends

This past June I got a chance to see some great gals I love back in St. Louis.

It's been fun to stay in touch with visits, emails, calls. Freaky how I have such connections to friends in Charlotte, here in Atlanta and back in St. Louis.

This feels good, and I have to take some credit for trying to stay in touch, tho I never do as well as I'd like. For instance holiday cards are not my thing anymore. I'd like to be that kind of friend, sort of. I love getting pictures and letters from friends and family! But I don't really want to do the work of putting that all together myself.

But I use the blog, and now Facebook, and that seems to work too.

About a year ago I blogged about how cool it is that friends sustain us when we don't believe in ourselves. I'll repeat myself since the old blog vaporized when the company flaked out and I didn't have time to deal with technical issues outside of work.

Last year, about 15 months ago, I was listening to the song You're Beautiful for a few weeks, over and over (this is my thing, OCD with music). Now that I listen to it again, today, I realize there are lots of other ways to hear it. Could be a goodbye song...

Anyway, last year it hit me like a ton of bricks one night that I've had friends for my entire life who see the beauty in me, even when I don't see it myself. Maybe especially when I can't see it.

And in some lovely way they carry this spark of my essential wholeness, my essence, with them. When I'm ready they give it back to me, but always keep a small part in case I lose my own sense of that spark... and I do this for them too.

It's a great thing to be an optimist, and to be able to see the best in people. It took me hundreds of years to see this about myself, these traits. It was really in working on intimate relationship issues that I began to think this combination a liability. (Doesn't help you find the best guys - just the guys with the most POTENTIAL.)

Now I see that it's a wonderful thing to know that my friends are great, even when they don't see it. I love that I can remind them of their beauty. Maybe that is the best part of friendship.

And in romantic relationships I can be more disciplined about seeing what is, not letting myself get carried away with what someone could be, and just see who they are. As I've said before, a lot of guys are great starters, but lousy finishers.

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