My beloved Cantor in Charlotte, the amazing Andy Bernard, often taught: services and rituals need to be refreshed, renewed. But if we change too many things, it's disconcerting. We also need some comfort in the predictability and "sameness" of ritual.
So we seek balance, those of us who make our own rituals, or help others find their footing.
Losing everything is devastating. And at the same time, eventually, there comes a new sensation, after the grief and shock has worn off a bit. It is almost like a quiet sunrise. Could be a small smile at some silly thing for the first time in a while. Maybe noticing something beautiful an it doesn't hurt.
These could be a signal of the beginning of a new life, little green shoots, a possibility of transformation, like the Phoenix out of the ashes. Nothing amazes and humbles me as much as the strength of the human spirit.
This lovely short article, Why Lying Broken in a Pile on Your Bedroom Floor is a Good Idea, gives the Hindu interpretation of the power of going to pieces. I suspect there is more behind the story of Akhilandeshvari, something about coming apart and still climbing on the back of the crocodile (Fear), bit by bit. (I didn't find more story after 5 mins of research online, so I will leave you to your own devices/detective skills.)
Even riding on the crocodile, notice, gives some measure of comfort and consistency. So does falling apart itself, once you've been thru it a time or two.
I found that disengaging from all the status symbols, going around like the little cinder girl (who begs for sparks, having none of her own) has incredible power, even if in just releasing the constraints of Society's Expectations.
Mind you don't want to stay there, forever a waif, but it also lets you appreciate the small things, like washing machines, and cars that run. "Hitting bottom", no matter in what guise, also gives a HUGE shot in the arm to Compassion :)
Giving in to the flow and letting yourself Become, with curiosity and kindness, makes dis-integrating into chaos... not fun, but maybe more bearable.
And if you are determined, it strengthens your faith ;)
ps. My Grandma Verne used to hug us tight and whisper "Love you to pieces!" (smile) Now *that's* a powerful statement ;)