Wednesday, June 24, 2009


A friend posted a link to an interesting article (um blog post actually) by Linda Holmes on the term "cougar" being applied to women who are attracted to younger men.

I heard that "cougar" was being used this way last year, and didn't think much of it. Frankly I didn't consider it insulting, but rather a cultural quirk. Not worth a lot of thought.

I do think that women going for younger men is s'amusant (self entertaining). I suppose it isn't fair to say that boys become men with some degree of difficulty, but I've found it true.

Some say women grow up the moment they conceive. Whatever play time they've enjoyed gets pushed back, often with their sense of identity as independent women, in deference to the truly OLDEST profession - Motherhood.

Continuation of the species trumps all, and requires being patient enough not to club your mate for asking stupid questions about your headaches, (which normally don't include the very rational "Can I make dinner tonight honey?" or "I'll do the laundry and clean the bathroom because I know you are working hard in there.").

Or worse than not helping, mates take your lack of attentiveness personally. Nevermind that you are growing a human being in your amazingly heretofore "normal" body. Yeah, we learn patience from our men, so we can nurture our children.

So women as cougars? Sure, no judgment here, but Why??

If good men are hard to find, (with a nod to Mae West's version of this truism) then how does finding boys seem hard?

In my experience it's easy. And lots of them are all "grown up" technically, but never quite crossed the Bridge to Full Adulthood. As another saying goes, growing older is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

And how is pursuing boys fun? Once upon a time I taunted an overeager guy on the interstate, by calling his work and reporting that he had been making a spectacle of himself during the Atlanta rush hour. I noted that first, I'd never consider meeting someone in a traffic jam, and second, he wouldn't know what to do if he'd caught me.

Older women certainly know what to do if they catch a young man, but wow, that's like a real cougar catching a bunny. Whatever. No sport in it.

Last night I read about a California cougar (real feline) jumping a biker in 2005. She nearly lost her life, and she outweighed the cat by 3 lbs! It was a young male that had eaten another biker just a few days earlier. You may remember the story.

She fought hard, bruising her knuckles with hitting it, and was smart enough to turn her head, chin toward her shoulder, as she'd learned in self-defense class to do when someone is trying to choke you. The cat was going for her jugular.

Then her friend shocked her by coming after the cat, yelling full-bodied obscenities, (esp the F word - shocking from a normally religious, mild mannered woman). She then grabbed her friend by the foot and refused to let go, preventing the cat from hauling his catch into the woods for a snack.

Other bikers came along and helped chase the cat away.

Sure, calling a woman a cougar could be a compliment. And yet, while gorgeous, they are dangerous predators.

I wouldn't want one stalking my son.

I think human predators* lose a lot - like class and self-respect. Hunting and catching easy prey just isn't interesting. Toying with them? Yeah, ok, could be harmless fun. But don't take it too far. Afterall, many of us have already raised boys. Have too often been married to them.

Real men don't want or need their women to be their Mama - and they sure as hell don't want to be chased or stalked. Any self-respecting woman wouldn't dream of it. lol
*humans hunting humans

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