So here is my gift to all the men I love ... platonically.
First, the basics. I told someone last week that women are simple to figure out. 1. We are emotional creatures, and therefore have our own systems of logic, at times. And 2. we love to communicate.
So of course one of the best ways to relate to a woman is talk to her - and listen.
Better yet, ask her how she's feeling about something. Emotions and talking all in one. We're thrilled!
If you've been with her a long time give her a priceless gift: curiosity. Who is she? If you think you know, you're wrong.
Truth is she's always more than you thought. And even if you did know her yesterday, she's changing every day. Biggest mistake you can make is sitting back with complacent certainty that you know all.
Ask her to tell you something she doesn't think you'd understand, or you'd laugh at. Be sweet and understanding. Stretch a little.
Another gift: Tell her something about you that she doesn't know. Trust her with a secret. Might be 25 or 35 years old, but those revelations mean a lot to us.
You can use Facebook to tell all your friends some things about her you appreciate. Or tell what made you fall in love with her. Or funny adorable things she does. Make it short or long, a list, under the Notes section, then tag her and your friends.
Bring her a small thoughtful gift - what does she love? Doesn't have to be expensive. It truly is the thought that counts. For instance a well chosen ball of yarn could make my entire month. Not just that he would go into a yarn store, but that he would actually buy something nice, and remember I love natural fibers or one of my favorite colors... that is huge.
Handmade is always good. Whether you or someone else makes it.
Or when is the last time you made her breakfast in bed?
Flowers? Don't do it on Valentines Day - do it days or a week before. Just because. Or flowers every day for a week. Again, doesn't have to be expensive. But they make us gals feel beautiful, and loved.
Big stuff? OK, if it's been a while since you've clasped diamonds or gems around her neck, on her wrist, it may be time. Again, go for unique. There is magic in shiny things for gals. Heck, even crows bring glitter to their mates :) We do want to be surprised like that sometimes. Don't forget, deflation can help you with the price tag. Or better yet, find a small shop with great jewlery - often the most fashionable stuff isn't expensive. If you don't know where, then ask her girlfriends, or your co-workers!
Finally, here is a list of sweet things you can say anytime, but especially if she's having a rough day. Keep this list around. It's a playbook. Memorize it. (At least the top four.) You get triple bonus brownie points for saying the right thing at the right time:
- I love you, even when your grouchy.
- It sounds like you've had a rough day.
- Is there anything I can do to help?
- What would make you feel better?
- mmm hmm... yeah, so what do you think we can do to solve this?
- Here honey, want the remote? What do you want to watch?
- Rub her shoulders - and don't expect anything.
- Let's go to your favorite restuarant... no it's ok, I'll find some sushi I like..
- Let me take the kids and you get a night out with the girls - or a spa day. Have fun.
- How about I call Mom and tell her we can't make it to dinner this time?
- I'll plan that birthday party.
- Let me clean up the kitchen. You go relax.
- I so appreciate how hard you work - look at all we have built together.
- You're still the one.
- Come on, slow dance with me. It's just our living room but it works.
- Ask her to marry you again. Make it special. Use a bubble gum ring.
If you haven't had a date night, make one! If you haven't gotten away for a weekend alone in the last 12 months, don't wait. Plan it now.
And remember, men who help out around the house more, have less tired women, and guess what the bonus is? Yep, more sex. Everybody wins!
So there. Now, what do guys like to get on Valentines?